At the end of the day we all just want to be happy. My life hasn’t been on the exact route that I would’ve pictured 4-5 years ago. And I’m thankful for that.
If I wanted what I wanted 4 years ago, I would be in my third year of medical school and getting into something I would not have enjoyed. I’m so grateful for my failures because my pathway that lead to optometry is humbling.
In all senses, the sense of feeling, is very important. You can see happiness, you hear happiness and you can taste happiness (in a good meal). The feeling of happiness may be the hardest. You can’t go out and touch happiness. You somehow have to go through a network of detailed happenings to feel happiness.
I’ve done a lot in my life that can make me feel happy. Hell, I have all the reasons in the world to be happy. Sometimes I make myself not happy and I don’t know why. Maybe I can use the excuse that it’s because I don’t want to lose appreciation for those things that make me happy.
That’s a flawed way of thinking. You see, that notion has lead me where I am now. And I may have problems with my own faith and my relationship with my religions has always been more complicated that concise. But, I need to have the basic, root meaning of faith in my life.
All I want is for someone I truly love to be happy. With or without me. All I want is my friends who struggle with money to be comfortable and happy. All I want is for myself to look at things and be happy. If I’m truly not happy, then I need to change some things and work on them. I can’t dwell. I’ve learned a lot about myself over the last month. And I learned that being happy is imperative and essential to life.
If things upset me, move on. Only worry about what I can control and everything else is just everything else.
If I’m truly meant to be where I’d like to be, then I am determined to be happy. Because I’m alive. I’m breathing and God knows I’m going through stuff right now that makes me emotional at times. But I can’t be mad because every experience has given me this perspective. Love is love. It will always be there for a short period or a long period in time. It’s captured in pictures and songs and in memories.
Being happy is my goal for life. Whatever path that I’m on. Whoever I’m around. I’m going to be happy. Because I have a lot to be happy about and who am I to complain?
Gosh, this a terrible terrible feeling.
Love is a dangerous thing. You do and say stupid things for it. You make mistakes and have triumphs and it could all be for nothing. That’s the risk you take. That’s the vulnerability that comes with love. The risk may be higher than the reward. But, it could all be for everything and I’ve always had faith in that possibility. Because being in love is unlike any other feeling in our lives. Having someone to go to and someone to be there for everything is always something we may take for granted. We wouldn’t have a purpose if love did not exist. Love is a beautiful thing. It’s messy and it can leave you hurt. But love is so worth it, I promise you all.